The Ajira 8

Well, LOST made a liar out of me. Instead of airing “The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham” this week, the producers decided to run “316” first. According to Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof, these two episodes are pretty much interchangeable, but I think it’s interesting that they chose to switch the order so close to the date it actually aired. Probably means nothing, but it’s interesting.

So let’s get this recap party started, shall we?

Season 5—Episode 6: “316”

“316” was more dialogue than action, and it seemed like every other line of dialogue was oozing with importance.

So where to begin? I suppose we might as well start with the opening of this episode.

We begin with a familiar scene: Jack on his back in the jungle. But immediately we can see that this is different. And he has a scrap of paper that says “I wish,” but the rest of the message is missing.

He runs through the jungle, comes to a waterfall, and dives into the pool below to help Hurley—who is floundering around in the water with a guitar case—and then he swims over to Kate’s body, which they find on the rocks. She’s fine…

But I’m wondering what in the world is going on. Is this real? Is it a dream?

And then, Kate says, “Are we?”

And Jack answers her question and ours, “Yeah, we’re back.”

Kate: What happened?

And then the image fades to black, and we see: “46 hours earlier.”

Summing up what happened in those 46 hours could be quite an endeavor, but I’m hoping to make this post a little more concise than the recent ones. So I’m going to highlight a lot of snippets, and I’ll do my best not to elaborate on everything.

One observation: When Eloise Hawking told Ben and the others that those present would “have to do for now,” did you see the look she gave Jack? I felt like that look said, “It will do, as long as Jack’s here.”

The LA-laboratory hidden beneath the church is the final (I think it’s the last one) Dharma station. The name? The Lamppost. As Doc Jensen mentioned in his column on EW yesterday, this is a pretty obvious reference to The Chronicles of Narnia.

Eloise Hawking tells us a few details about The Lamppost, including the ambiguous statement, “this is how they found the island.” Who the “they” is, I don’t know. Supposedly it was constructed over a pocket of electromagnetic energy, which is “connected to other pockets,” but “those who built it only cared about the island.”
(At a later date, I might want to spend more time thinking about those “other pockets” that we’re ignoring at the moment.)

Eloise goes on to say this, “Then a very clever fellow built this pendulum on the notion that they should stop looking for where it was supposed to be but where it was going to be…the island was always moving…why do you think you were never rescued?” (“clever fellow”—that’s another item I’ll revisit, I’m sure.)

And this: “They used formulas to determine where the island is going to be…in time.” And she explains that there are windows of time when they can predict where the island will be.

And this, too: “These windows don’t stay open very long. Yours closes in 36 hours.”

And this is when Desmond has had enough of the mumbo-jumbo Ms. Hawking is selling.

Desmond: I don’t believe this! You’re all going back to the island? Willingly?

I wasn’t able to keep up with the entire exchange, but I think I caught the highlights.

Desmond: I came here to deliver a message. Consider the message delivered.
Eloise Hawking: I’m sorry to tell you this, Desmond, but the island isn’t done with you yet.

Desmond to Jack: These people are using us. They’re playing some kind of game, and we’re just the pieces. Whatever she tells you to do, ignore it. (Note: In my character overview of Desmond Hume earlier this week, I think I suggested this exact idea.)

Desmond to Eloise Hawking: You said the island’s not done with me? Well, I’m done with the island.

I was also intrigued by Ms. Hawking’s non-reaction when Desmond announced that she is Daniel Faraday’s mother. I don’t know what kind of response I was hoping for. Maybe an acknowledgment of some kind, like a head nod. (Or maybe she could have at least corrected him by saying “adopted mother.” Since that would have confirmed my hunch, even though it probably doesn’t matter.)

Eloise Hawking tells them they need to be on the Ajira Airways Flight 316, and she says, “You all need to be on it.” For some reason, I didn’t take this literally. And yet, before the episode ended, there they were, seated neatly on the plane. (All except Desmond and Aaron, that is.)


And here’s the catch, according to Eloise: “If you want to return, you need to re-create as best you can, the circumstances that brought you there.”

Jack: We just get on that flight and we hope that it works? That’s all?
EH: No, that’s not all, Jack…at least not for you.

She takes Jack into a private room, saying what she has to tell them doesn’t concern Ben and Sun. In the room, she gives Jack a envelope containing John Locke’s suicide note. We also learn from Ms. Hawking that John hanged himself.

And then she reveals what might be the most important news:

EH: John is going to be a proxy, a substitute.
Jack: A proxy, for who?
EH: Jack, who do you think?

My money is on Jacob, just as Christian has been “speaking on his behalf.” Of course, I wouldn’t dare put much money on this. After all, this is LOST.

Eloise Hawking tells Jack to get something that belonged to his father and give it to John. (So maybe John’s going to be a proxy for Christian, not Jacob…and see already, I’m glad I wasn’t putting much money on Jacob.)

Jack, alone with Ben, makes the mistake of asking the former leader of the Others a direct question. Or maybe it’s just a mistake to expect a straight—and honest—answer. (And I’m sure the writers have a lot of fun with this, because this question, like some others Ben doesn’t answer directly, is one that viewers are itching to have resolved.)

Jack: who is she? Why is she helping us? How does she know all this?

Ben’s response says nothing about Eloise Hawking. Instead, he begins talking about the apostle Thomas. He talks about how Thomas is best remembered for doubting Jesus’ resurrection.

Ben: He just couldn’t wrap his mind around the resurrection. Legend has it, he even needed to touch the wounds to be convinced.
Jack: Was he?
Ben: Of course he was. We’re all convinced sooner or later, Jack.

Wow, that just seemed to be dripping with insinuation, didn’t it?

Then the enigmatic Mr. Linus tells Jack he’s off on a mission to fulfill a promise he made “to an old friend,” saying it’s just “a loose end that needs tying up.” (I have a suspicion about this errand of his, and if you read nothing else, scroll down to the bottom and read this thought—it’s the last question I ask. And for once, I hope I’m wrong.)

And then we have the episode where Jack gets his dad’s shoes from his grandpa Ray. Seem a little unnecessary to anyone else? Why couldn’t Jack just go to his mom’s house to get something that belonged to his dad? My answer: Because the writers needed to introduce Jack’s granddad because he’ll be important later. (I like the way this corresponds with my analysis of Jack Shephard, which I’ll post in my next Character Overview.)

For now, I’ll just highlight the eyebrow-raising elements of this encounter:

--Jack’s granddad has tried to run away from that (nursing home?) four times.
--Granddad Ray says, “One of these times, I’m going to get away. And they’re not going to find me, either.”
--A chunk of dialogue that might mean nothing:
Jack: I think I might be going away for awhile.
Ray: Where is ‘away’ exactly?
Jack: Somewhere better than here.
Ray: Touche.

So then Jack goes home, and he finds Kate in his bed. Which leads to this beguiling exchange:

Kate: Are you still going back to the island?
Jack: Yeah, I think I am.
Kate: Then I’m going with you?
Jack: Kate, what happened? Where’s Aaron?
Kate: If you want me to go with you, you’ll never ask me that question again. You’ll never ask about Aaron. Do you understand that, Jack?
Jack: yes
(Then they make out)

(My thoughts on Aaron are included in the questions at the end of this post.)

The next morning, Ben calls Jack. We see that Ben is calling from a dock or a wharf, and he’s bloody. “I’ve been sidetracked,” Ben says. So he sends Jack to pick up Locke’s coffin from Simon’s butcher shop.

Once there, Jack puts his dad’s shoes on Locke’s feet. And he takes the unopened envelope containing Locke’s suicide note, and he puts it in Locke’s jacket, saying, “I’ve already heard everything you had to say, John. You wanted me to go back, I’m going back.” (Jack gets this note back after the flight crew searched the coffin and found the envelope with Jack’s name on it.)

“Rest in peace,” Jack adds as he closes the coffin lid.

And now they’re ready to fly to Guam…or ready to board a flight headed for Guam, anyway. Jack’s there, with Locke’s coffin in tow. Kate’s there. And Sun. And Sayid (in handcuffs, escorted by a woman with a badge?). Then we see Hurley. And finally Ben—with his arm in a sling and fresh cuts still apparent on his face.

When Ben strolled onto the plane, Hurley just about went apoplectic.

Hurley: Wait! No! What’s he doing here? No one told me he was going to be here…
Ben: Who told you to be here, Hugo?

And with that Hurley shut up.

And then the episode ended with two more twists.

The first twist: Frank Lapidus is the pilot. I guess this answers my question from last week, when I wondered when we were going to see ol’ Frank again. He looks different without his beard, but it’s good to see him, nonetheless.

The second twist came after the plane crash (“flash” might be a more accurate description), after we relived the opening sequence with Jack, Hurley, and Kate. The three of them hear a van approaching, music blaring. We see it’s a Dharma van—but it doesn’t look rundown like the van Hurley used to play demolition derby with the bodies of a couple Others. The van stops, and out steps a gun-toting man in full Dharma gear. They all look at him, and then Hurley says, “Jin?”

Summary:
This was a fun episode. Watching the characters get ready to embark on another flight, getting in position for another plane crash, it was just fun. I probably shouldn’t admit this, but I even felt a little bit excited—the way one feels before they embark on a vacation. I guess I’m just happy to see our 815-ers reuniting.

Observations:
1) We have our Ajira 8:

Jack
Sayid
Hurley
Kate
Sun
Ben
Frank
Locke
(But no Desmond or Aaron)

2) I know it’s been a few years now, but when the Oceanic Six first made it back to the States, they were widely-recognized figures. Wouldn’t it have raised some flags for someone—the flight crew, other people on the flight, or people at the airport—when they’re all boarding the same flight, but not sitting together (even though they obviously know one another)? Well, if they didn’t notice and think it was odd before, I suppose they probably will when those characters disappear after another plane trip together…

3) Frank Lapidus seemed to have no idea that they were headed back to the island. So he, for one, didn’t know they would be going back.

4) The actress who plays Eloise Hawking was cast perfectly…just like Locke and Ben. I thought her performance in “316” was stellar.

Notable Quotes:
1)
Ben claims he didn’t know about The Lamppost, which prompts the following exchange...
Jack, to Ms. Hawking: Is he telling the truth?
Eloise Hawking: Probably not.

2)
Jack: This is ridiculous.
Eloise Hawking: Oh, stop thinking about how ridiculous this is, and start asking yourself whether you think it’s going to work. That’s why it’s called a ‘leap of faith,’ Jack.

3)
Frank Lapidus: Is that Sayid? … Wait a second …We’re not going to Guam, are we?

4)
Hurley: Those seats aren’t open; I bought those seats—all 78 of them are mine.
Attendant: These people just want to reach their destination. Why wouldn’t you want them to be on this flight?
Hurley: It doesn’t matter why. Just let them take the next flight…

5)
Jack: The other people on this plane…what’s going to happen to them?
Ben: Who cares?

6)
Jack: Don’t you think it means something? We’re all on the same plane, together.
Kate: We’re on the same plane, Jack. That doesn’t mean we’re together.

7) Locke’s “suicide note”:

Jack,

I wish you had believed.

--J.L.

8)
Kate: The plane…where’s the plane?
Jack: Do either of you remember crashing?
Hurley: No…

9)
During the flight, Ben’s reading Ulysses, by James Joyce
Jack: How can you read?
Ben: My mother taught me.
(Note: Not only was this funny, it was also a lie. We know that Ben’s mother died during childbirth, and there’s no way Ben was that fast of a learner.)

10)
Jack: What is going to happen?
Ben: You tell me, Jack. You’re the one that got to stay after school with Ms. Hawking.

11)
Jack: Did you know that Locke killed himself?
Ben: No, I didn’t, Jack.
(Note: I think this is a lie)

12)
Jack: I feel like John needs me to read it.
Ben: Why don’t you then? Is it because you’re afraid?
Jack: Afraid of what?
Ben: Afraid that he blames you. Afraid that it’s because of you that he killed himself.
Jack: It wasn’t my fault.
Ben: No, Jack, it wasn’t your fault…I’m going to give you some privacy. (It seems like Ben wants Jack to read it…and I think Ben knows what it says, too.)

Questions that left me baffled:
1) Eloise Hawking referred at least twice to the “clever man” who built the pendulum in The Lamppost. Who is this “clever man”?
(Note:I have a feeling it’ll be someone we know, but right now, I can’t fathom who it might be.)

2) Eloise Hawking also referred to "other pockets" of energy, but where are these other pockets? And are they relevant?
(Note: I suspect the locations of these other pockets would be more interesting than relevant. If I had to guess, I'd throw out at least one option: the house where Isaac of Uluru lives—where Bernard took Rose hoping she'd be healed.)

3) Why is Sayid in police custody?
(Note: I wanted to come up with a theory here, but nothing seems to make sense. Even if he’d been arrested for something, why would they be taking him on a flight to Guam?)

Questions I’ll attempt to answer:
1) Where is Aaron?
My guess: Kate went back to that hotel and told Claire’s mom, Ms. Littleton, that Aaron was Claire’s son. And I think she left the boy in his grandmother’s custody. Of course, if that’s true, it doesn’t explain why she wouldn’t be willing to share this with Jack. Maybe she called up Sawyer’s ex (whose name I forget right now), and maybe Sawyer’s ex is going to raise Aaron along with Sawyer’s baby girl, Clementine (who wouldn’t be much of a baby anymore, I suppose).

2) So who told Hurley to be on that flight?
My guess: Our deceased rockstar, Charlie Pace. I think that’s why Hurley shut up right after Ben asked him who told him. It might also explain why Hurley is carrying a guitar case with him. I don’t remember Hurley playing the guitar in previous episodes. So I don’t know why else it would be a priority now. (If it was Charlie, then the real question for me is “How would Ben know that Charlie—or any dead person—was appearing to Hurley?”)

3) Will the man on Ajira Airways Flight 316 be a recurring character?
My guess: Yes, he’ll be back. The producers took the liberty of showing him three times. The first was when he offered his condolences to Jack after overhearing Jack explaining that the man in the coffin was “a friend.” Later, Hurley told this passenger he “might want to buckle up.” (Plus, I recently saw this actor in Traitor, a relatively new Don Cheadle movie, so even though he’s not a superstar, I think he’s too recognizable for a one-episode cameo.)

4) Who is this new character?
My guess: A Widmore operative. Widmore sent Desmond to Ms. Hawking. And he even knew the address for The Lamppost (although it’s possible he doesn’t know that the building hides a Dharma station). Widmore isn’t going to send Desmond off on an island-related errand without at least sending someone to keep tabs on him, is he? So I think this guy is a Widmore agent trying to get to the island with the Oceanic 6. Oh, and I think he’s been on the island before.

5) What’s up with Jin in the Dharma suit?
My guess: When the plane “crashed” it actually seemed more like one of the time-flashes. And Jack, Kate, and Hurley don’t remember the crash, nor do they see the wreckage. So maybe they were pulled through time—back to the period where/when the “constantly moving” island currently resides. And if Jin (along with Juliet, Sawyer, Miles, Daniel, and whatever is left of Charlotte) had already traveled back to that period, then maybe he’s posing as a Dharma member.

6) Where are Sayid, Sun, Ben, Frank Lapidus, and Locke?
My guess: I think they just haven’t found them yet. I think they’re all there. When Kate, Hurley, and Jack begin wondering where they are, I think the writers were hoping to make us think that they weren’t all there. But I think it was just playful misdirection. But then again, perhaps they didn’t all land in the same time period…but no, my guess is that they’re all there. (But I wouldn’t put any money on that.)


7) Where did Ben go when he said he had to take care of a “loose end”? And how did he end up bloody-faced with his arm in a sling?
(Before I share my theory here, I want to stress how hopeful I am that I’m wrong. When this thought first occurred to me, I was stunned. And I thought, “No, it can’t be!” And I hope it’s my response, not the thought that prompted it, that ends up being correct.)
My guess/fear: We should have immediately suspected evil when Ben referred to his "old friend." First of all, I'm not sure Ben has any old friends. And even if he did, he probably wouldn't be too concerned about making good on any promises to them. In a previous season, however, we do see him talking to an old acquaintance: Charles Widmore. Remember Ben's "you changed the rules" accusation? And do you recall how that meeting ended? That's right, with Ben informing his "old friend" that he plans to kill his daughter. Penny. Desmond's Penny.
And of course he could have assumed Penny was in the area, since he had just watched Desmond walk away from Ms. Hawking. Not only that, but when we last saw Penny, she and Desmond were on a boat with their baby, Charlie. And from where did Ben call Jack? I don't know if it was a dock, but it was certainly next to a body of water.

So I hope I'm wrong, but I think Ben's "loose end" was killing Penelope Widmore.

Of course, maybe his face is bloodied and his arm is in a sling because Penny (or Penny and Desmond) fought him off. But if that's true, if they fought him off, then I'd think Ben would have needed to run farther away from their boat before calling Jack.

As much as I'd hate to learn that Ben killed Penny, I can see why it would be a logical move by the writers. If Penny's dead, Desmond will come back to the island, even if it's only because he wants to track Ben down and get vengeance. And if Ben cares about one thing, it's the island. And if the island isn't done with Desmond (as Ms. Hawking said tonight), but he's refusing to come to the island, do I think Ben would do whatever it takes to bring Desmond back? Unfortunately, I do.


—Thanks for Reading

Character Overview: Desmond Hume

In last week's recap, I promised I would post a theory involving Desmond. I'm going to renege on that promise...but just a little bit. Instead of a full-fledged theory, I'm going to offer a character overview, which I think will be more helpful than a theory as we watch Season 5 unfold.

You see, I can't put all the pieces together and produce a completely cohesive theory, but I think I've connected enough puzzle pieces to make the picture a little clearer.

Enough babble, here goes...

"Desmond Hume's Worlds of Experience"

After claiming I will "make the picture a little clearer," I'm going to start with a tangent that will probably only muddy the waters. But hey, I spent a lot of time researching this, so I'm not going to take it out now...

What's in a name?
It's clear that the LOST writers love playing with names. C.S. Lewis, Henry Gale, John Locke, Edmund Burke, and others have proved this quite well.

The list of philosophers is especially noteworthy, including not only Locke and Burke, but also appearances by Jeremy Bentham, Mikhail Bakunin, Anthony Cooper, Rousseau, and...David Hume, in the form of our friend, Desmond David Hume.

What do we know about Hume, the philosopher? Well he was Scottish, for starters.

Like a certain John Locke, he was also an empiricist. Empiricism, simplified as much as possible, is the theory of knowledge based upon the idea that knowledge results from experience.

More importantly, Hume's empiricist ideas were based on what is now called the "Problem of Induction," which asserts that we can't know that something will always happen in the future the way it has in the past. (Sound LOST-ish yet?) For example, we can't know for certain that the sun will rise in the east based solely on the knowledge that it always has. Or in an example provided by wikipedia, and one that's especially relevant when considering LOST, the problem of induction suggests that we can't know that the laws of physics, as we know them, will continue to hold in the future.

Again quoting wikipedia (I'm almost done, I promise), I found this interesting: "C.S. Lewis, a 20th century popular theologian, argues in Miracles that the past-future variety of problem of induction can be easily solved by presupposing the existence of a consistent Creator who would create a consistent Universe. Such a Creator allows us to stipulate that the Universe works according to consistent rules, since the Creator would not create a Universe that was so contrary to his own nature. Thus, we can assume that once we have learned one of the Creator's rules, it will continue to hold in the future."

Also worth mentioning, considering LOST's interest in "free-will vs. fate": Hume was, again quoting wikipedia, "a classical compatibilist about the notions of freedom and determinism. The thesis of compatibilism seeks to reconcile human freedom with the fact that human beings are part of a deterministic universe, whose happenings are governed by the laws of physics."

So let's sum up this muddy tangent:

Hume believed that free will and fate are compatible. We are free to make our own decisions, even though our world/universe might be determining the final outcomes. And this determinism is due, at least in part, to the laws of physics. But he also believed that we can't be certain that the laws of physics will remain constant. Meaning, in a sense, that things can be changed...(anyone else thinking of Desmond's flashes, and the way he changed the future in order to save Charlie's life?)

So you might be asking, "What's the point?" Or, if you read the above closely, you're probably thinking, "Wow, that summary was a really mangled and juvenile interpretation of Hume's ideas." If the latter is true, then I stick my tongue out at you. As for the former, well...

There might not be a point. But then again, maybe there is.

Let's not forget Daniel's words to Desmond: "The rules don't apply to you. You're special. You're uniquely and miraculously special."

"What rules?" you ask. Hmmm, could it be that physicist Daniel Faraday is referring to the rules (or laws) of physics? I think so. If we pause and think about it, I think it's only fair to ask ourselves, to what else could Faraday be referring?

So maybe, just maybe, that philosophical mish-mash about Hume and empiricism and the importance of experiences...maybe that's just a way of reinforcing Daniel's claim that Desmond is "uniquely and miraculously special."

Just for fun, let's sum Hume's beliefs up in one word. Since he was an empiricist, I can't think of a better word than "experience."

Now let's combine that with Desmond's first name...

My knowledge of the French language is nominal at best, and it rarely comes in handy for anything. Ever. But for one rare moment, I thought it might have revealed something...

In French, "le monde" is "the world." And if you want to make that world plural, it would be "des mondes." "Des mondes" isn't exactly the same as "Desmond," but it's close...

And when you combine that with our one-word synonym for Hume:

"Desmond Hume" = "The worlds of experience"

Is that a stretch? Yes, definitely. But let's keep it in mind, anyway.

(If you'd prefer to extrapolate on a theory that Desmond's name is based on the
Desmond Rebellions, be my guest. And if you are so inclined, then I encourage you to note that Elizabeth I was the Queen of England, and she was the one who eventually put down the revolt, destroying the Desmond dynasty. After all, how did those Elizabethan soldiers travel to Ireland to put down the revolt? Well, by boat of course...and who provided our beloved Desmond Hume with his boat? That's right, good ol' Elizabeth, or Libby, if you prefer...dun dun dun...so extrapolate away, if you're so inclined...)

(One P.S. on Hume...I think it's ironic that LOST fans—or at least this one—would use Hume's name as a source for inferences, since he spent his life insisting that knowledge comes from experiences…it's kind of like, fifty years from now, having a fast-food chain name a platter of chili-cheese fries after Jenny Craig...but I really should get back to the point.)

If you've stuck with me this far, I appreciate it. And now I'll commence the overview.

I want to walk through Desmond's timeline, as we know it. But first, one last precursor.

I know I've referred to this before, but I must point it out again. Brother Campbell, the monk who eventually kicks Desmond out of the monastery, is shown in a picture (on his desk) with Eloise Hawking. We know that Eloise Hawking is a time-travel/island expert. We've also seen her sporting a robe (similar to the one Brother Campbell wore, no?) when she was working in her laboratory in a church in L.A. I think it's safe to at least suspect, if not assume, that Brother Campbell and Mrs. Hawking might be working together. And with that lodged in the forefront of your mind, here's what we know about Desmond:

Desmond's Daddy Issues
—According to Lostpedia, "Desmond did not graduate from university because he had to support his three brothers after something happened involving his father. The cause of the elder Hume's departure remains unknown."

My thoughts: So something happened to his daddy, but we don't know what. That might be worth remembering.

Desmond finds a calling…
—Later, Desmond is dating a woman named Ruth (for 6 years), but he ends up drunk in the street a week before their wedding, and he's having doubts, afraid to commit to her. (This, for me, is when things get interesting. Starting with this moment, Desmond's life is intersected at crucial moments by a list of people, all of whom, looking back, seem to have ulterior motives.)So, back to Desmond being in the street…

Again citing lostpedia, "Brother Campbell, a monk at a monastery in Eddington, Scotland, offered him help, which led Desmond to believe he had a calling to become a monk too. Desmond entered the monastery. He impressed and surprised Campbell by keeping his vow of silence, earning status as a novice monk and the title 'Brother.'"

My thoughts: So this monk appears out of nowhere and offers to help him. Coincidence? Chance? Fate? Or part of a plot by those who just might know Desmond is "uniquely and miraculously special."

Desmond Needs a New Calling
—After Brother Campbell finds Desmond drinking the monastery's wine one night, he tells him he doesn't think he should be a monk, but says Desmond "obviously is meant for a greater purpose."

My thoughts: Interesting... (For a second look at conversations Desmond has while in the monastery, see footnotes #1, #2, and #3.)

Desmond finds a Pretty Penny (pun intended)
—Then when Desmond leaves the monastery, he meets Penny and offers to help her load the wine into her vehicle. And the rest, as they say, is history…at least as far as the blossoming of the Desmond/Penny relationship is concerned.

My thoughts: Is it coincidental that he was expelled from the monastery just as Penny was arriving to pick up some crates of wine? Any chance Widmore, or Widmore and Brother Campbell (with perhaps a sprinkling of Mrs. Hawking), intended this? For a moment, I suspected that perhaps Penny was in on this, manipulating Desmond at the behest of her father and friends. But that would spoil the whole Desmond/Penny love story, so I chose to dismiss the thought, even if it might be true…
(See footnote #4 if you want evidence that suggests Brother Campbell subtly may have arranged the Desmond/Penny meeting.)

Desmond has Daddy-in-Law Issues
—Eventually Desmond goes to Widmore's office to apply for a job, but he reveals that he's actually not interested in the job. Instead, he would like Widmore's permission to marry his daughter. Widmore doesn't grant it. Instead, he says Desmond isn't worth enough to share his whiskey with him, and he certainly isn't worth his precious Penny (yup, intended).

My thoughts: (This is when we first learn that Widmore is a royal jerk. But then again, if Widmore knows that Desmond is special. If he knows he needs to be on that island, then maybe he has no choice but to turn Desmond away.)

Desmond Drops His Penny…and he goes (into the) Clink (I really tried—too hard, obviously—to make this a pun…and I apologize)
—We know that Desmond ended things with Penny and then, at some point, he enlisted in The Royal Scots Regiment. And according to lostpedia, "Desmond managed to reach the rank of a lance-corporal before being dishonorably discharged and serving time in the Southway Garrison military prison for failing to 'follow orders.' His exact offense is still unknown."

My thoughts: I just wish we knew more here.

"Pick a box, Desmond, any box…as long as it's the one I say"
—When Desmond is released from prison, a car is waiting for him. And who do we see inside that car but the beloved Mr. Charles Widmore. He shows Desmond that he has confiscated every letter Desmond wrote to Penny while he was locked up. He tells Des that this box represents his past, and he shows him a second box—full of money—and this one, he says, represents Desmond's future. But only if he ceases all contact with Penny.

My thoughts: I didn't realize it at the time, but since we've learned a little more about Widmore since this time, it seems especially odd that Widmore would try to buy off Desmond. Why? Well, because it doesn't seem like Penny is the top priority in Widmore's life. After all, when Des showed up for the "job interview" only to ask for Penny's hand in marriage, wasn't that the first time he'd ever met Desmond? (Maybe not, but it sure seemed like it.) And being the wealthy, important man he is, do we think it's logical that he would make this Desmond/Penny issue his top priority? It just seems odd to me. I think it's more likely that he was trying to keep Desmond away from Penny because he needs Desmond to go to the island and push the button.

(If you want to read that conversation between Widmore and Des, see footnote #5.)

Come Sail Away, Come Sail Away
—Desmond decides he's going to win his "honor back" by winning the Widmore-sponsored boat race around the world. One problem, he has no money and no boat…until he meets a woman at an airport who is quick to offer the boat that belonged to her recently-deceased husband. That woman is the one and the same Libby, the flight 815 tail-section surivor, the object of Hurley's crush, and the former resident of the Santa Rosa Mental Health Institute.

My thoughts: Oh ho, Libby. Fool me once, shame on you… Libby might be my favorite mystery, but only because I think I figured her out awhile ago. At first, I really wanted to know why she was in that Institute. I really wanted to know how this sweet woman, this former psychiatrist (the same woman who was kind enough to offer her expensive boat as a gift to a man she just met), became a vacant-eyed, disheveled resident of Santa Rosa's.

And then it hit me! If we hadn't already known Libby, if we hadn't already thought she was a sweetheart, there's no way we would have believed that she would give away such an expensive boat just minutes after meeting someone. And then I realized, we wouldn't have believed it because we shouldn't believe it! So why would she give away that boat? Why was she in Santa Rosa's? Two questions, but one answer: Libby was just doing her job. I don't know if she's a Widmore employee or an accomplice, but either way, I think she was just carrying out business. Widmore, Hawking, and whoever else needed Desmond to have a boat to get to the island, so they concocted this plan to give him one. As for Santa Rosa's, remember Hurley's Connect Four-playing, number-spouting buddy, Lenny? After Hurley first suspected that "the numbers are bad," remember when he tried to visit Lenny to find out the source of the numbers? And remember how his request was denied because he wasn't family? (Until he saw a doctor who remembered him, that is.) So in Widmore's quest to rediscover the island, it makes sense that he would send someone undercover to learn something—if possible—from a guy who spouts "the numbers" non-stop. And if Libby really had been a psychiatrist (I have my doubts), then she's the perfect choice for an undercover assignment posing as a mental patient.

(If you'd like to read the Desmond/Libby conversation, see footnote #6.)

Desmond Flashes (At this point, my timeline is out of sorts. But I wasn't sure where to place this event. And really, can you blame me?)
—So after he turns the fail-safe key, Desmond starts getting flashes. And when he's riding in the helicopter on the way to the freighter, his consciousness starts jumping. And when Des finds himself back with Penny again, he decides this time he's going to propose. But when he tries to buy the ring, the jewelery store employee tells him he's not supposed to buy the ring. This employee is the now infamous Ms. Hawking. And she explains to Desmond that he doesn't/shouldn't propose to Penny because he needs to go to the island to push that button. She also tells Desmond that what is supposed to happen will happen. She says "the universe, unfortunately, has a way of course-correcting." She is implying that Desmond is powerless to change things.

(If you'd like to read their conversation, please see footnote #7.)

My thoughts: First of all, knowing what we know about Ms Hawking now, and also knowing that Damon Lindelof says she's a "temporal policeman," do we really believe that she spends her days polishing the display cases in a small jewelry store? I, for one, don't buy it.

I think she was there solely to meet Desmond.

But why does Ms. Hawking bother telling Desmond he can't change things? If he really couldn't change the course of history, then why bother to tell him? Why not just let him try, and fail? Unless, of course, he can change things. And I think we have reason to believe he can. Not only is he "unique and miraculously special," but by saving Charlie's life (albeit temporarily), he changed the course of the future. Would Penny's boat ever have been able to locate them if Charlie (the musician they needed to play "Good Vibrations" on the keyboard to disarm the jamming frequency) hadn't been alive to swim down into the Looking Glass?

I think Ms. Hawking, along with Widmore, Brother Campbell, Libby, and probably others, know Desmond is special, and that's why they're keeping tabs on him.

I have a related theory in regards to this. Ms. Hawking definitely seems to understand time travel. So it's not far-fetched to think she might be a traveler. If they know Desmond is special (I don't know how they know, although perhaps it could trace back to Desmond's father, the one who disappeared/died in a manner not explained to us. But the point is, these people, all or some of them, former islanders, know...), then maybe someone stopped pushing the button, and maybe the island blew up. So, being the time travelers they are, they needed to find someone in history who could change time, someone special. And they, working together, took the steps necessary (calling him a coward, making sure he couldn't be with the woman he loved, stripping him of his honor, suggesting he has a calling, etc., etc.) to make sure Desmond landed on that island, and to make sure he'd keep pushing the button, or develop the courage, in the words of Kelvin Inman, to "pull his finger out of the dam and blow the whole thing up."

Questions:
1) So, why and how is Desmond "uniquely and miraculously special"?
2) Is it possible that Ms. Hawking was lying about what Desmond was "supposed" to do? Maybe, left to his own devices, he would have purchased the ring for Penny, and maybe they would have married…and maybe it's only because of outside interference that he never followed through. You think?
3) Why was Desmond imprisoned? Because he didn't "follow orders"?
4) Why/How did Desmond's dad die when he was a kid? Who was his dad? Any chance he was an Other/Hostile who knew Widmore, Ms. Hawking, and the rest?


Other things to note:
1) Because of the system failure that occurred when he was following Kelvin instead of pushing the button, Desmond was the one who caused the crash of Flight 815.
2) Desmond was also the one who got the Oceanic 6 off the island, since it was his jumping consciousness that enabled him to make contact with Penny, prompting her to be waiting by the phone years later, and leading her on her epic quest to find him.

What's the take-away?

In short, Desmond is special. And I think Widmore and Ms. Hawking and others have known it for a long time, long enough to be altering and impacting his life in a way that will suit their purposes. His name, Desmond Hume, could be a clue about his ability to operate outside the laws of physics, potentially changing the past (or future).

Consequently, Widmore might not be a jerk. He might just be acting in the ways necessary to achieve an ultimate goal (and if we are to take Ms. Hawking's statements literally, this goal might involve saving the lives of all mankind). A brief tangent: Similar to this Widmore-might-not-be-evil thought, I've often wondered if Ben isn't evil. If he knows, because of Jacob, what is going to happen, maybe all his actions are based on a desire to make the process to that unalterable result as smooth as possible. If he knows someone is going to die, then instead of being sentimental or trying to save anyone, maybe he's just trying to expedite the process since the island/universe is going to course-correct anyway. If this is true, instead of being diabolical, Ben is more like a slave to fate.

Widmore, in contrast, would seem to have the opposite motive. If Ben is a slave to fate, carrying out Jacob's wishes, then perhaps Widmore is working with others (not the Others) to defeat fate, using someone like Desmond as the conduit.

(Of course, Ms. Hawking seems to be working with both Widmore and Ben, so I can't make any sense of that. But we'll save that for another post.)

Footnotes

Footnote #1: Dialogue from "Catch-22":

DESMOND: Are you firing me?
MONK: I am indeed.
DESMOND: You can't do that, I heard the call.
MONK: I'm sure you did hear the call, but the abbey clearly isn't where you were meant to end up. I have little doubt that God has different plans than you being a monk, Desmond. Bigger plans.
DESMOND: Oh aye, I'm sure he does.
MONK: He does! You've just spent too much time running away to realize what you may be running toward.
[The monk moves to leave]
DESMOND: Hey. What am I supposed to do now?
MONK: Whatever comes next.


Footnote #2: Dialogue from "Catch-22":

MONK: You do realize you are free to talk again, brother Desmond.
DESMOND: Used to being quiet I suppose. [He looks at the "Moriah Vineyards" label]
DESMOND: Moriah. I find the name the brothers have chosen for the wine made here, interesting.
MONK: And why is that brother?
DESMOND: Well Moriah's the mountain where Abraham was asked to kill Isaac. Its not exactly the most, festive locale is it.
MONK: And yet God spared Isaac.
DESMOND: Well one might argue then, God may not have asked Abraham to sacrifice his son in the first place.
MONK: Well then it wouldn't have been much of a test, would it brother? Perhaps you underestimate the value of sacrifice.

My thoughts: Interesting chatter about Abraham and Isaac…and perhaps worth remembering that Isaac is the father of Jacob.

Footnote #3: Dialogue from "Catch-22"

DESMOND: OK, yes, I was scared about the wedding, so I had a few pints too many, maybe I, I raised my eyes, and I asked am I doing the right thing, and that's the last thing I remember. And when I woke up, I was lying on my back in the street, and I dunno how I got there and, there was this man standing over me, Ruth. And he reached out his hand and he said to me, can I help you brother. And the first thing I noticed was the rope tied round his waist, and I looked at him and I knew, I knew, I was supposed to go with him. I was supposed to go with him, I was supposed to leave everything that mattered behind, sacrifice all of it, for a greater calling.

RUTH: Well its a good thing a bloody shepherd didn't help you up, or as I suppose you'd be off with the sheep wouldn't you? Next time you want to break up with someone, Des, don't join a monastery. Just tell the girl you're too bloody scared.

My thoughts: good thing "a bloody shepherd" didn't help him? Or is it a good thing that a "bloody Shephard" (as in Jack or Christian) didn't help him? Maybe it's nothing. Maybe.

Footnote #4: Dialogue from "Catch-22"

[Desmond enters the monk's office carrying his religious clothes in his arm]
MONK: I was afraid you'd let without saying goodbye.
DESMOND: No.
[He lays the clothes down]
DESMOND: I nearly took this with me.
[Desmond heads to leave]
MONK: If you're not in a hurry, brother Martin's heading into town in a few hours, he can give you a ride. That is, if you don't mind doing some heavy lifting.
[Desmond laughs]
[Outside, Desmond wheels cases of the vineyard wine to a car, as the monk chats with a woman]
MONK: All ten cases are ready to go. Desmond there is just getting the last one.
PENNY: Thank you, and my father sent the check in advance.
MONK: Please thank him for his generous donation. Always a pleasure to see you.
[The monk leaves, shaking Desmond's hand as he goes]
MONK: Goodbye Desmond.
[Desmond carries some of the crates round to the back of the car]
PENNY: I think we should be able to fit it all in the back, and if not we'll put the rest in the front. [She turns and looks at Desmond] Is that alright?
DESMOND: Absolutely.

My thoughts: "If you don't mind doing some heavy lifting"…that's just subtle enough, methinks.

Footnote #5: Dialogue from "Live Together, Die Alone":

[We see Desmond exiting the garrison as a limo pulls up. A man, Charles Widmore, rolls down the window.]
WIDMORE: You want a ride?
DESMOND: Not with you.
WIDMORE: Get in the car.
[Desmond gets in and notices boxes on the seat.]
DESMOND: Did you bring me a present?
WIDMORE: Actually, two presents. One of these boxes contains your past, Hume. The other, your future. Go ahead, open it.
[Desmond opens a box and finds it filled with letters which are unopened and addressed to Penelope Widmore, sent by Desmond.]
DESMOND: You're a bastard, you know that?
WIDMORE: The fact that she never received your sentiments is good for her. Good, because as far as she's concerned you've forsaken her. And that's the way it's going to stay.
DESMOND: Is it now?
WIDMORE: Penelope's moved on, Hume. She's getting married. [He opens the other box which is filled with money.] This is for your new life—away from my daughter. The conditions are simple—no contact, no calls, no posts. You just run away, Desmond.
DESMOND: And what makes you think I would just run away?
WIDMORE: Because you're a coward.

Footnote #6: Dialogue from "Live Together, Die Alone"

[We see Desmond at a coffee bar counter.]
DESMOND: Just give me which ever one has the most caffeine in it, brother. [he opens his wallet] Damn, um, I'm sorry. I've just arrived and I spent all my American money on a taxi.
LIBBY: [putting money on the counter] I've got it.
DESMOND: That's not necessary.
LIBBY: It's just 4 bucks.
DESMOND: I don't suppose you have 42,000 more of those do you?
LIBBY: Depends on what it's for.
DESMOND: I was joking.
LIBBY: No you weren't.
[We see Libby and Desmond sitting with each other. Libby is looking at a brochure for a sailing race. There's a picture of Widmore on the brochure.]
LIBBY: So, a sailing race around the world?
DESMOND: I have 8 months to get into the best shape of my life. I'll tell you what, miss, I'm going to win.
LIBBY: And what do you get if you do?
DESMOND: What really matters is who I win it for. [he pushes the brochure toward her]
LIBBY: [looking at the brochure] Charles Widmore.
DESMOND: He tried to buy me off. And when I didn't take his money, he took away the only thing in the world that I ever truly cared about.
LIBBY: Who is she?
DESMOND: His daughter. I was unsuitable on several levels.
LIBBY: And what' the 42 grand for?
DESMOND: It's a wee bit complicated. As of yet, I don't actually have a boat. [Libby looks sad] Sorry, did I say something wrong?
LIBBY: I have a boat. It was my husband's but he got sick. He wanted to sail the Mediterranean—he never—he passed away about a month ago.
DESMOND: I'm sorry.
LIBBY: I want you to have it.
DESMOND: I can't take your boat, miss.
LIBBY: But you have to. He'd want you to.
DESMOND: What was your husband's name?
LIBBY: David.
DESMOND: And what did he name his boat?
LIBBY: Elizabeth. He named it after me.
DESMOND: Then I thank you, Elizabeth. And I shall win this race for love.

Footnote #7: Dialogue from "Flashes Before Your Eyes" (my emphasis added, in bold)

MS. HAWKING: I have just the thing. [she shows him a ring] This won't blind any queens, to be sure, but still has the sparkle of life.
DESMOND: I'll take it.
MS. HAWKING: [surprised] I'm sorry?
DESMOND: It's perfect. I'll take it.
MS. HAWKING: No you won't. Give me the ring. Give it here.
DESMOND: I don't understand.
MS. HAWKING: This is wrong. You don't buy the ring. You have second thoughts; you walk right out that door. So, come on, let's have it.
DESMOND: I don't know what you're on about.
MS. HAWKING: You don't buy the ring, Desmond.
DESMOND: How do you know my name?
MS. HAWKING: Well, I know your name as well as I know that you that don't ask Penny to marry you. In fact, you break her heart. Well, breaking her heart is, of course, what drives you in a few short years from now to enter that sailing race -- to prove her father wrong -- which brings you to the island where you spend the next 3 years of your life entering numbers into the computer until you are forced to turn that failsafe key. And if you don't do those things, Desmond David Hume, every single one of us is dead. So give me that sodding ring.
[COMMERCIAL BREAK]
MS. HAWKING: [when Desmond doesn't give her the ring] Oh, you're going to be difficult about this, I can see.
DESMOND: Who are you?
MS. HAWKING: Do you like chestnuts?
DESMOND: What?
[Scene switches to Ms. Hawking buying chestnuts from a street vendor.]
MS. HAWKING: Thank you.
[She notices a man climbing stairs from the Underground.]
MS. HAWKING: That man over there is wearing red shoes.
DESMOND: So, what then?
MS. HAWKING: Just thought it was a bold fashion choice worth noting.
DESMOND: This isn't really happening, is it?
MS. HAWKING: Sorry?
DESMOND: I've had a concussion. You're my subconscious.
MS. HAWKING: [amused] Am I?
DESMOND: You're here to talk me out of marrying Penny. Well, it won't bloody work.
MS. HAWKING: Oh, yes it will.
DESMOND: No, there is no island. There is no button. It's madness. I love her. She loves me. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with her.
MS. HAWKING: No, Desmond, you're not.
[Suddenly, there is a loud crash behind the bench Ms. Hawking and Desmond have been sitting on. Some scaffolding has fallen and killed the man with red shoes.]
DESMOND: Oh, my God. You knew that was going to happen, didn't you? [she nods] Then why didn't you stop it? Why didn't you do anything?
MS. HAWKING: Because it wouldn't matter. Had I warned him about the scaffolding tomorrow he'd be hit by a taxi. If I warned him about the taxi, he'd fall in the shower and break his neck. The universe, unfortunately, has a way of course correcting. That man was supposed to die. That was his path just as it's your path to go to the island. You don't do it because you choose to, Desmond. You do it because you're supposed to.
DESMOND: I'm going to meet Penny in an hour. I've got the ring; she'll say yes; I can choose whatever I want.
MS. HAWKING: You may not like your path, Desmond, but pushing that button is the only truly great thing that you will ever do.
DESMOND: How much for the ring?
[Ms. Hawking looks disappointed and walks away.]
[Cut to Desmond walking down a street. He passes an Armed Forces Careers office, and eyes a recruitment poster with the tag line: Become a man you can be proud of.]

And one last piece of dialogue to consider:

LOCKE: Blow it open with what?
CHARLIE: With dynamite from the old ship in the jungle.
DESMOND: It would take an atom bomb, brother. Tell him not to bother.
LOCKE: You're sure it'll hold?
DESMOND: Aye, I'm sure.

My thoughts: "It would take an atom bomb" to blow up the hatch, eh? That's interesting since we know now that there's a 60-year-old atom bomb buried somewhere (maybe in that very hatch) on that island.

We'll Miss You, Red...

Wow, this was a good episode...


Season 5—Episode 5: "This Place is Death"

Tonight's episode was the most flash-tastic yet. By far. The island had our characters flashing and jumping through time even faster than before.

Yet in spite of the constant flashing, we learned a lot. Too much for me to go into all of it, so I'm going to do my own flashing, through the highlights:

FLASH—Smoky appeared again, snaring one of Rousseau's research buddies and dragging him down a hole outside some ancient temple (whatever it was, I wish we had seen more it). His friends and Jin tried to hold on to him, but his arm got ripped clean off. And down in the hole he went. Then flash! Jin's gone.

FLASH—Jin reappears and sees the standoff between Rousseau and her husband, when she's telling him he's sick. She decides not to shoot him, and he tries to shoot her. But alas, just as she later told Sayid, she had removed his firing pin. And then, bye-bye hubby.

FLASH—I was amused by Jin's choppy English responses when he was with Rousseau:

“Boat.”
“My wife.”
“Monster.”

It's good to have Jin back...

FLASH—Right about now, I took advantage of a commercial break to see that North Carolina had jumped out to an early 7 point lead at Duke. Go Tar Heels!

FLASH—Jin and Sawyer reunite when Sawyer aims his gun at the back of Jin's head. Sawyer tells him to turn around, and ta-da: We have our most touching moment of the night. Jin's eyes lit up like Hurley in an Apollo Candy shop, and Sawyer rushed over to give his ancient raft-mate a Texas-sized hug. (I liked that moment.)

FLASH—Add Sawyer to the list of nosebleeders.

FLASH—Kate (with Aaron in tow) and Sayid both abandon Ben and Jack. Only Sun stays with them, and she stays only because Ben says he can take her to someone who will prove Jin is still alive.

FLASH—The only non-nosebleeders: Daniel, Jin, Locke.

We learned a lot during these flashes, but a few of the developments necessitate a more thorough review.

Most notable, and most unfortunate, we learned for sure that the nosebleeds lead to death. With Daniel by her side, Charlotte Staples Lewis breathed her last. I really liked her character (and if you watch the special features on the Season 4 DVD, you'll learn that the actor's true personality is even more appealing than her character's—she just seems like she's always having fun), so it was a sad moment.

I thought it was interesting, however, that the writers allowed her to die happy, even if her consciousness was off in another time and place. Her face lit up, baffling Daniel, and she said, "But I'm not allowed to have chocolate before dinner." And then she was gone.

But she revealed a lot before she left. Such as:

1) She admits she grew up on this island, as part of the Dharma Initiative, but her mother left the island and raised her in England (her father stayed behind), and when she was growing up, Charlotte would ask her mother about this island, but her mother would claim it doesn't exist. (Note: See the end of this post to see how this news corresponds with a theory I've held since Season 4.)

2) The second revelation comes after Charlotte tells Daniel about how she's been searching for this island her whole life. Here's what follows:

Daniel: Why are you telling me this?
Charlotte: Because I remember something now. When I was growing up here, when I was little, there was a scary man who told me I had to leave the island and never come back. He told me if I came back, I would die.
Daniel: Charlotte, I don’t understand.
Charlotte: Daniel, I think that man is you…

(Note: I think it's interesting that Charlotte refers to him as a "scary man." Scary, huh? Scary and right, apparently.)

And the almost-revelation, after Daniel reveals to Charlotte that he sent Desmond to find his mother because she can help save them:

Charlotte to Daniel: How can your mother help us…
Daniel: She can… (Charlotte starts coughing before we can hear more.)

Anyone else feel teased by that?

FLASH—As if Charlotte's death wasn't depressing enough, another commercial break reveals that Duke is building a pre-halftime lead...when it rains, it pours...

There are four other developments I'll note, but I'll try not to get too long-winded. After all, I'm more interested in getting to my theories at the end of this post...

Un:
John, Sawyer, Jin, Juliet, and Miles head for the Orchid Station. They were relieved to find that it was there, and Juliet said something about this, then FLASH! No Orchid. But thankfully, a near-delirious Charlotte had told them, if the Orchid wasn't there, to look for the well. She said they'd find it there...and sure enough. they did.

(Note: Just before John descended this rope, I said to Barbie, "I wonder what happens if he's underground when the island flashes again...if it goes to a time before the tunnel is built"...and we almost got our answer.)

So John's halfway down the rope when the island flashes, and he falls the rest of the way. Meanwhile, in a cool I-didn't-expect-that moment, we see Sawyer holding the rope (he had been steadying it for John) and Miles tells him he can let go now...and the camera pans down and shows the rope sticking out of the dirt. (Note: So if the rope is stuck in the dirt now, because they traveled in time while Sawyer was holding it, I wonder if there's anything else on the island that seems out of place that is the result of a similar circumstance...)

deux:
At the bottom of the well that is no longer a well, Locke hears footsteps. Lo and behold, Christian Shephard, Mr. Mystery of Mysteries, appears again. And the dialogue between Locke and Christian is, um, uncomfortable. First, he scolds Locke for letting Ben turn the wheel. Then he confirms what Richard Alpert told John, that he would have to die.

Christian also tells John about Eloise Hawking, and he says that he needs to get "all of his friends back together," which is becoming a pretty common refrain. We see the big wooden wheel, which Christian says has "fallen off it's axle" (Is that what's causing the flashes), so John just needs to give it a little push. And so he does...

trois:
Jin was very adamant about Locke not bringing Sun back. And let's just say this is a monkey-wrench that I didn't see coming. He made Locke swear that he wouldn't go to Sun. Locke said, basically, "and what if she finds me?" Jin didn't waver for a second. "Tell her I'm dead. Tell her I washed ashore. Tell her you buried me." Then he took his wedding ring off and told Locke to show it to her. And he gave another one of his one-word sentences: "Proof."

quatre:
At the end of the episode, when they arrive at the place where Eloise Hawking is waiting, Ben produces Jin's ring and shows it to Sun. He uses this as proof that Jin is still alive, telling her that Jin gave it to John. Isn't it just like Ben to use Jin's ring for the exact opposite purpose for which it was intended...

...but was this part of a plan concocted by John and Ben? Or was it Ben's idea? I have a feeling we'll learn next week, in "The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham."

Let me also say this, in typical LOST fashion, the show ignored the storylines I expected, showing no traces of Desmond or Hurley in this episode…until the very tail end, when Desmond strolled in. No Richard Alpert either.

But next week, according to the preview at the end of this week's episode, we'll definitely see both Hurley and Desmond. As for Richard, I don't know...


Most Notable Quotes:

1)
As I heard it in my living room...

Barbie: She has been there before.
Scene cuts to Charlotte telling Daniel: I’ve been here before.

2)
Juliet to Locke: If whatever you’re hoping to do actually works, thank you.

3)
Ben: Hello, Eloise.
El: Hello, Benjamin. I thought I said ‘all of them’
Ben: This is all I could get on short notice.
El: I suppose it will have to do for now. Alright, let’s get started.

(Note: Doesn't it sound like Eloise is calling the shots here? She's not helping Ben as much as he's following her orders. Interesting. And—and this is a huge one—didn't Mrs. Hawking tell Ben just a couple episodes ago that he needed to get all of them together, or else it would mean the death of them all? So why would less than half of the Oceanic 6 be good enough for now? Unless they have a backup plan that will bring the rest along before that 70-hour window closes.)

4)
Desmond: What are you doing here?
Ben: I assume the same thing you are.
Desmond: You’re looking for Faraday’s mother, too?

5)
Christian Shephard: I said that you had to move it, John.

6)
Christian Shephard: All you have to do is give it a little push.
Locke: Can you help me up?
Christian Shephard: No, sorry I can’t.

(John is asking for help because a shard of something is sticking out of his leg, but Christian's response is fascinating because when Locke first saw him, Christian told John he was there to "help him the rest of the way." So he's there to help, but when John asks for help, he says he can't...which makes very little sense, unless Christian can't physically touch him...because he's not completely there...

7)
Christian Shephard: Say hello to my son.
Locke (as he’s flashing away): Who’s your son?

8)
Robert (just before Rousseau shoots him): It’s not a monster, it's a security system guarding that temple.

(Note: I want to explore that temple.)

9)
Sawyer: You speak Korean, Red?

(Note: Is that a nickname? Maybe the writers read my last post...)

10)
Daniel: Do you speak any other languages?
Charlotte: Just Klingon.

(Note: I'm going to miss Red.)

11)
Charlotte to Jin: Don’t let them bring her back. No matter what. This place is death.

12)
Ben (to Jack and Sun) If you had any idea what I’ve done to keep you safe, to keep all your friends safe, then you’d never stop thanking me…

(Note: Do we believe this?)

13)
Sayid (to Jack): I don’t want any part of this. And if I see you, or him, again, it will be extremely unpleasant for all of us.

(Note: I have a feeling Sayid is off to protect Hurley again. Where else would he go?)

Some questions:

1) Why haven't Jin, Locke, or Daniel had nosebleeds?

2) Is it possible that Daniel doesn't age, like Richard? (I must attribute this idea to my beautiful wife, even though I wish I had thought of it first.)

3) What in the world is Christian Shephard doing underground by the wheel. How does he know so much? Does anyone else think his presence is the most baffling thing in the world? (No, I don't think that's an exaggeration.)

4) So what's going to change Kate's mind? And Sayid? Hurley?


Three Theories:

1) Charlotte's Web...

I've been holding onto this theory for the past six months or so, and this week reinforced my suspicions. Charlotte says she was born on this island, but her mom left and her dad stayed.

What if Charlotte's mother is Annie, the little girl who was friends with Benjamin Linus. I've always thought Annie must have left, because I don't know that Ben would have gassed her with the rest of Dharma. If he had, I think we would have seen that subplot. Her disappearance from the story has always been suspicious, as if they've been waiting to spring her storyline on us when we least expect it.

So maybe Ben gets Annie pregnant, and they have a daughter, Charlotte. And maybe that's why Ben eventually takes Rousseau's daugther, Alex, because he knows he has a daughter somewhere but he can't be with her.

Problems with this theory:

When I first adopted this theory, I thought maybe Annie left the island because she was pregnant. Because women couldn't give birth on the island. And that's what really sold me on the theory. It would explain why Ben is so preoccupied with fertility research, even though Richard tells Locke that some of the Others are ready for a new leader because they feel like there are more important things to pursue.

But if Charlotte was born on the island, and she remembers seeing Daniel, then it seems she'd be old enough to remember her father. It also eliminates a possibility that Ben didn't know his daugther's name or what she looked like (which would have been the case if Annie had left while pregnant).

But if Ben isn't Charlotte's father, then one of the Others probably is. hmmm...


2) The "Old" Others

This theory isn't much of a theory, but bear with me.

I was developing this theory before Season 5, before we learned for sure that Widmore had been an Other. That revelation validated this theory in a big way.

I feel like there's a group of old people—former Others, most likely—who are working together off the island. And if they're not working together, they're important.

Here's a list of older people, belonging to roughly the same generation, who have proven to be important:

Mr. Widmore
Mr. Paik (Sun's father)
Mrs. Hawking
Brother Campbell
Matthew Abaddon (the black man who posed as an Oceanic representative when he visited Hurley, and the one who originally posed as an orderly and suggested Locke should go on a walkabout...I suspect that he was also an Other, but I think he's a Widmore operative now)
Christian Shephard (he seems to get more important all the time)
Richard Malkin (he's the psychic that Mr. Eko once visited after his daughter came back to live...and he's the psychic who gave Claire her plane ticket, insisting that she go to California to give her baby up)

Or maybe these people are just important because most of them are parents of our characters...but I think many of these characters are connected. Some of them in obvious ways, and others, perhaps, in ways we haven't seen yet.


3) The importance of Desmond, why Widmore might not be the enemy, and some thoughts on Mrs. Hawking...

Yes, these thoughts are all connected to one basic theory, and I'll post it soon.

FLASH—Don't worry, basketball fans, North Carolina ran away with the game in the last few minutes.


—Thanks for Reading

Shame on you...

I haven't lived in the Chicago area all that long—certainly not long enough to feel a sense of ownership when it comes to the downtown landmarks. But I've lived here long enough, and walked around downtown with enough visiting friends and family, to develop an appreciation for certain elements of the Windy City.

One of my favorite things downtown is the Cloud Gate sculpture—affectionately known to most people as "The Bean."

For those who haven't seen it, The Bean is a 110-ton sculpture that sits in Millennium Park. The Bean's highly-polished stainless steel provides a stunning reflection of the city's skyline (and the sky...hence the name, "Cloud Gate").

I've visited The Bean at least four times, and I've been mesmerized by it each time.

And last week, it was vandalized.

Of all the property downtown, the vandal (or vandals) chose to inscribe their pretty little names on The Bean: "Peter S" and "Ashley D." I may not have lived here long enough to call the sculpture "our Bean," but apparently I've been here long enough to feel ashamed by the vandalism. For some reason, their act made me very sad.

When Barbie first told me this happened, my shoulders drooped and I said, "No." I paused and said, "Why?" Which is really a stupid question. Because I'm fairly certain Barbie wasn't in on the plot.

But right now, as we're already bombarded with depressing news every day, I just felt like this should not have happened.

Right now, Chicagoans are proud of their city. More so than usual. After all, Grant Park (a mere stone's throw from The Bean) is where President Obama elected to speak on Election Night. The Bean, elevated from street level, currently overlooks an ice rink (just off Michigan Avenue) where the center ice is adorned with the Olympic Rings and these words: "Chicago 2016: Candidate City." And while so many in this area are feeling proud to call this city home, even during a time when America is not nearly as proud as it was just months ago (although that might be a good thing), the vandal(s)picked this moment to deface a beloved monument.

It's sad, really.

Whether the vandal(s) knew it or not, there is a security camera that monitors The Bean, and authorities hoped it would lead them to the culprit(s). But it's been nearly a week since the vandalism, and I haven't heard anything yet. The Bean was expected to be repaired—the names buffed out—by the end of last week. Of course, the taxpayers will cover that cost (unless the vandals are apprehended).

So by now, the damage should be undone; The Bean should sit unblemished again—back to its usual smooth and stoic self.

But the next time I visit the sculpture, as I look at the way the city and sky converge in its reflection, I'll know that the vandals are looming somewhere behind the mirrored skyline, and it will still make me sad. Just a little bit.



—Thanks for Reading

Where have our beloved characters gone?

Time to recap another episode of LOST…

Season 5—Episode 4: "The Little Prince"


This episode wasn’t as good as "Jughead," or even as good as "The Lie." I wouldn’t say the episode was devoid of intrigue, but with no Desmond, no Hurley, no Richard Alpert, and no Mrs. Hawking…well, the writers had the odds stacked against them.

I’ll divide this post into two sections. First, we’ll look at our flashing islanders: Locke, Sawyer, Juliet, Daniel, Miles, and Charlotte. (And let’s not forget that Rose and Bernard and a few others are still sloughing around somewhere on the island—but the writers were wise to lose them after the flaming arrows rained down on Frogurt. There’s enough to keep track of without Rose and Bernard’s constant bickering slowing things down.)

The most notable development in this episode was the revelation that the flashing islanders (Yes, I am trying to coin that phrase) might soon be reunited with Jin. I don’t think this shocked anybody. It was nice to see him alive and somewhat well, but it certainly wasn’t a jaw-dropper. Even having him meet up with a younger, very pregnant Danielle Rousseau and her crew…that wasn’t all that shocking, either. Although I’m curious if anything notable will come out of that before he flashes away from them.

I don’t need something to shock me in order to like it. But if something is revealed in a way that is intended to shock, and it doesn’t, then it becomes something of a letdown.

(Speaking of Rousseau’s crew, remember when Rousseau told Sayid that she killed her whole team because they got sick? Radiation poisoning, anyone?)

Other than Jin’s reappearance, the most notable event was the flash back to a familiar moment in island history: that infamous night when Boone died, Locke’s hatch lit up, and Claire had her baby. Flashing Locke was leading his fellow flashers through the jungle when he realized he was about to cross paths with former Locke, and he carefully redirected their paths.

Shortly after Locke avoided seeing his former self gazing down into the hatch, Sawyer, in what was probably supposed to be a touching moment, found Kate helping Claire give birth to Aaron. I’m sure this scene was included for a couple reasons. One, seeing Aaron’s birth again was probably supposed to heighten the off-island drama where Kate is worried about losing Aaron. Two, we hear Kate encouraging Claire, saying that Aaron is family to all of them, or something like that—which nicely mirrors Jack’s comment later that Aaron is his family, too. (Although, Jack, as the half-uncle, or whatever he is, has DNA to back up his statement.)

Meanwhile, in another notable development…Charlotte survived her massive nosebleed and she was up walking around again—seemingly back to normal, for now. But before the episode ended, Miles and Juliet both had a nosebleed of their own.

Further evidence to suggest that Miles might be Pierre Chang’s son:

Daniel (hypothesizing about the reason for the nosebleeds in some of the flashers, but not all of them): "…something to do with duration of exposure."
Miles: "I've never been here before 2 weeks ago."
Daniel: "Are you sure about that?"

Interesting stuff. Now, for the other half of this post…

The Oceanic 6 is disappointingly predictable right now. The one exception is Sun.

What in the world is she up to? First of all, someone delivers a package to her that contains surveillance photos of Jack and Ben. Also in the package, a box of chocolates…with a handgun hidden beneath the layer of chocolates. Is anyone else having trouble seeing Sun as James Bond?

But anyway, it seems Sun came to L.A. to kill Ben, right? And maybe she did (maybe), but why did she call Kate? Why did she want Kate to come visit her in her hotel? Why is she watching Aaron? She left her own child in Korea, presumably so she would be free to do what she needs to do. So then, if her goal is just to take care of business, to kill Ben (maybe), why encumber herself by bringing Kate and Aaron into it?

It makes me wonder if Sun is involved in something more insidious. But what, I don’t know. Didn’t she encourage Kate to go to the lawyer in the first place? It’s almost like Sun is working with Ben…(but more on that in a bit)

Sayid’s actions are predictable. He’s turned into LOST’s version of Jack Bauer (which, strangely, is somewhat boring to me). Predictable as his actions are, his motives are not as obvious. I was really intrigued when Ben asked Sayid why he took it upon himself to take care of Hurley. And I realized, that’s a great question. In the beginning of this season, Sayid told Hurley they had to get him out of the Institution because "they" were coming for him.

I assumed the "they" meant Ben and his friends. And I still think it was Ben's henchmen who attacked Sayid at the "safe house" and again at the hospital, where we just saw a dart-blowing operative disguised as a doctor. I think these men are attacking Sayid with darts because Ben wants to capture Sayid and take him back to the island against his will because he knows a conscious Sayid won't be convinced to tag along.

But if that’s true, then I think Sayid would know that. It would also explain why he told Hurley to do the opposite of whatever Ben asks him to do. But that makes me wonder why Sayid—super assassin that he is—doesn’t try to stop Ben. Why does he just ride along as Ben goes about his business? There’s something here that doesn’t add up.

Further evidence to suggest the dart-blowers work for Ben: Sayid’s most recent attacker had Kate’s address in his pocket (and he was pretty willing to show it to Sayid). So what happens? Jack calls Kate, determined to help Kate and Aaron get away from these would-be attackers. Isn’t that exactly what Ben wants? To help all of them get away?

But we didn’t have to wait long for confirmation on this score:

Ben: Hello, Kate
Jack: It’s okay, he’s with me.
Kate: He’s with you?
Jack: He’s here to help us, to help everyone we left behind.
Kate: It’s him! He’s the one that’s trying to take Aaron…
Jack: No, no. He’s…
Ben (cuts off Jack): She’s right. It is me.
Ben (looks at Jack) Sorry.

That little exchange made me laugh.

I love LOST, so I’m not going to use this blog to rip the show if I don’t think every episode is phenomenal. Even when an episode is disappointing on some level, there are still plenty of intriguing and entertaining elements to relish. But consider that my disclaimer for this:

I really don’t like the Oceanic 6 when they’re not on the island. Jack isn’t much of a leader anymore. Kate is only concerned about Aaron, and even though that’s important, it’s boring. She’s not the same spunky, feisty Kate who was so independent yet dependable on the island. Sayid’s storyline is no longer complex. His long-lost love is dead. And instead of being a former torturer who is reluctant to use violence but will to protect his friends, he just kills everybody. Like I said, I don’t know what to make of Sun. But Hurley, well, he’s still cool.

If there’s an ongoing love connection between Jack and Kate, I no longer care about that, either. They’re not the same characters I know and love from past seasons, and until they are, I don’t care what happens in that relationship.

As for Ben, he’s so shifty, and has been for so long, that any twists involving him are now almost anticlimactic (i.e. when we learned that the lawyer is working for him). I’m confident he’ll be back in his element on the island. They all will. Or at least that’s my hope. And I hope they get back there soon.

5 Notable Quotes:

1)Sawyer: I was close enough to touch her. If I wanted to, I could have stood right up and talked to her.
Juliet: Why didn’t you?
Sawyer: What’s done is done.

(Note: I included this quote because I think there’s some foreshadowing here. This isn’t just lovesick, sappy Sawyer putting his trust in Juliet…I think it’s going to be significant when Sawyer (or maybe others) decide that what’s done isn’t done, and they start trying to change things…OR maybe he couldn't have "stood right up and talked to her," even if he tried.)

2) Daniel: “John, do you know when we are?

3) Claire’s mum: “Who’s Aaron?”

(Note: At first I thought this was a mistake. Because Claire’s mum met Aaron at Jack’s father’s funeral, and she told Kate that he was a beautiful boy—who looked just like her, or something like that…but then I remembered that she probably never learned his name. And apparently she didn’t think that cute boy looked like her missing daughter after all…)

4) Sayid, talking about Hurley: “Sorry Ben, I’m not letting you get anywhere near him.”

5) Locke: “I have to make them come back, even if it kills me.”


Prevailing Questions:

1) Back when the island first flashed…how did it disappear? Because now the island seems to be jumping in a way that carries the characters to different times—including the past where the island already was. So if the island itself (the large mass of land we've watched for four seasons) is moving—how can it revisit an exact time and place where it already was? Wouldn't there be two islands there? How's that work? But if it is just the characters being carried back in time…why does the island disappear in the present (when the freighter blew up)…if the characters are the only ones jumping? The only thing that makes sense to me (and it's still confusing) is if the island’s current state is suspended (it’s absent from the present) until its past is played out or reconciled. Perhaps the island blows up in the past if they don't do something to prevent it. So when they flashed back, the present island was gone because it was blown up in the past. And then maybe if the islanders prevent it from blowing up in the past, it will reappear in the present?

2) Assuming that the island's history can be re-written, allowing it to reappear in the present...is it possible that the same thing could happen with any of our dead characters, rewriting their history in a way that doesn't involve their death?

3) Can the original characters see the Season 5 Flashers? For example, if Kate and Claire had looked up, would they have seen Sawyer’s mug peering googly-eyed out of the woods? Can the flashers change anything, or just observe? Do the flashers account for the whispers the characters heard on the island in previous seasons?

4) Now that we know the flashing islanders can see the original islanders, who is going to be the first one to see their old self? Maybe we’ll see Sawyer face-off with Old Sawyer?

5) Will Juliet become Sawyer’s replacement for Kate, much like she was for Jack when Kate was off in “New Otherton” with Sawyer?

6) Why didn’t Locke go to the cabin to talk to Jacob? Instead of relying on Richard Alpert (who didn’t recognize him) for instructions, why doesn’t he go to Jacob?

7) So why did we see Vincent’s collar sans Vincent? Does anyone else think this means something?

8) Ben and Jack plan to “bring them all back”…but does that include Desmond? (My guess is yes.)

9) What’s the deal with the new airline (that flies out of India), and who are the people drinking a water bottle from that airline—and where did they, and their canoes, come from?

10) Is it possible Sun is working with Ben? I know this seems contrary to what we’ve seen, with her meeting with Widmore and all. But her activities—coming to L.A., calling Kate (coincidentally) just after Kate runs away from home to avoid the lawyers, watching Aaron, somehow showing up at the wharf…with a gun—they seem to coincide too nicely with Ben’s plans to get them all together to go back to the island. I think she’s either playing Ben, with the intention of killing him…or else she’s working with him with another objective (see question #11).

11) Could Sun be planning to kill Jack? I know that sounds far-fetched, but I think the preview for the next episode wanted us to think that she’s about to threaten Ben’s life. But the surveillance photos showed Ben and Jack. Maybe she told Widmore she wanted to kill Ben because she knew Widmore would provide a gun for her (would Widmore help kill Ben?). But maybe she really blames Jack for Jin's death, since he made the helicopter pilot (when are we going to see old Frank Lapidus again, anyway?) take off, leaving Jin on the freighter. If she's planning to kill Jack, I think Ben will be the one to prevent her from doing it by saying what he said in the trailer for the next episode, “Jin’s still alive…and I can prove it.”

12) Another baffling question that goes back to "Jughead." Locke tells Richard to go and see him being born in 1956. We know from past seasons that Richard was there when Locke was born. But how does that work on a timeline? At first I thought it explained things, but now I'm confused. Because Locke apparently isn't changing anything by telling Richard to go and see him being born. Because Richard already did that. The only way Richard could have been there for Locke's birth was if Locke had visited him before and told him to do that. I'm wondering if this will be explained, or if we're supposed to accept that this is how time travel works.

Final Thoughts:

I missed seeing Desmond and Hurley in this episode, but I suspect we'll see both of them next week; Hurley should be released from jail (according to Ben's lawyer) and I suspect Desmond and Penny will be arriving in Los Angeles just in time to join the hi-jinx before Ben gets the chance to whisk Jack, Kate, dead Locke, and the rest to them off to the time-jumping island…

Speaking of going back to the island, that needs to happen soon. I’m enjoying Season 5, but I think the writers are having a little trouble maintaining their characters’ identities now that everything (literally, everything) is off-kilter. Take Sawyer for example. In the past, Sawyer was the renegade who didn’t like authority figures. Sawyer was the guy who defied everyone else, often with hilarious nicknames, whenever they were mired in a serious situation—and that worked because there were other characters there to make the tough decisions and lead in spite of Sawyer. Now he doesn’t have a leader to rail against, and he seems too unsettled to make any smart remarks. He’s too busy pointing the gun at Ellie, smacking Daniel, threatening Charlotte, and silently bemoaning Kate’s absence.

You could call this character development, but I think it’s a deviation from the beloved Sawyer. Sawyer has been reduced to a lovesick sap. The writers managed to give him one funny line amidst all the drama—when they were paddling furiously in their canoes, while being fired upon by strangers, he realized they were about to flash in time again, so he raised his arms and yelled, “Thank you, Lord.” But they flashed into a torrential storm, still at sea in their little canoe, so he added, “I take that back!”

Lovesick Sawyer needs Kate to come back. But the smart-mouthed Sawyer we all miss (surely I’m not alone, right?) needs Jack or Ben to butt heads with, and maybe Hurley, too, so he can call him Jabba again.

And Sawyer isn't the only character who's lost (no pun intended) some of his appeal. As I wrote earlier, the Oceanic 6 are not appealing off the island. The LOST writers are in a tough spot, in my opinion, because they need to keep this plot advancing, but viewers don't want a fast-moving plot if it doesn't include the characters we love.

Before the Oceanic 6 left, all the characters were united by the same dilemma—stranded on the island and opposed by the baby-snatching Others. But in the midst of their shared struggles, they were all living their lives in ways that outlined their personalities.

Sawyer reading...Hurley hiding food...Jin fishing...Kate climbing trees for fruit...Sun gardening...golfing...Locke hunting boar...Claire taking care of her baby...Jack sewing people up...Sawyer guarding his stash...Michael screaming "WALT!"...The Others' book club...

The drama has always been there, but it was always interfering with the structured lives they were trying to lead on their beach camp. Now, it just feels like everything is askew, everything is out of control, and in some ways, it's not quite the same show we've been watching. The mysteries are just as compelling, but in this time-jumping madness, there seems to be fewer opportunities for the characters to be themselves.

So I'm hoping we can fix that up soon. After all, Ben, Jack, Kate, Sayid, Sun, and Aaron are all on a wharf right now. Maybe there's a submarine waiting for them?

Will Desmond and Penny arrive by boat? (I assumed they wouldn't have been able to make it in time unless they flew...)

The only one missing is Hurley, and he's supposed to be released the following morning (so that's well within the 70-hour window outlined by Mrs. Hawking). So they're all primed for an island-homecoming. And I'm looking forward to it.

By the way, the next two episodes:

—"This Place is Death"
—"The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham"


—Thanks for Reading

Groundhog Day: The True Story

Everyone knows how Groundhog Day works, right?

On February 2, one groundhog (Punxsutawney Phil) emerges from the ground, and if he sees his shadow and returns to his hole, we get another 6 weeks of winter. If he doesn't see his shadow, then we'll have an early spring.

It's a simple enough story...or at least that's what I used to think.

Dun dun dun.

Friends, it's time we uncover the truth.

First of all, let's clear up this matter of Punxsutawney Phil. To be accurate, I should probably include his full name at least once, so here goes: "Punxsutawney Phil, Seer of Seers, Sage of Sages, Prognosticator of Prognosticators, and Weather Prophet Extraordinary." (now let me pause for a breath)

According to legend, there is only 1 Punxsutawney Phil. But when I was a child, my family stopped in Punxsutawney, PA, to take a gander at the famous groundhog. And I swear I remember seeing multiple Phils in that enclosure, and I thought I was told (or read) at that time, that they always have multiple Phils on hand... I know I have pictures somewhere, or at least I used to. But alas, despite my certainty, I can produce no evidence. Nor, it seems, can anyone else.

And if I could provide incriminating information about Phil's legitimacy, I'm not sure I'd go through with it. If I did, who knows what the Inner Circle might do to me.

"The Inner Circle?" you ask.

Oh, right! That, dear reader, is another element of Groundhog Day we don't learn about in school. The Inner Circle is, well...how can I put this? I'll just be blunt: if this group's chief interest weren't so trivial, I'd swear they were a cult. As it stands now, I merely suspect them to be a cult.

These men, all of them Punxsutawney dignitaries, can be identified by their tuxedos and top hats (often with an accompanying handlebar 'stache)—which one can only hope they don year round. These are the men (I don't know if women are definitely excluded, but I do think they'd have trouble growing the signature 'stache) who take care of Punxsutawney Phil throughout the year.

Sure the attire doesn't scream "cult," but if nothing else convinces you, the elitism and the strange customs should.

If you ask me, the Inner Circle is probably a cover for something much more insidious. Need proof?

Okay, first notice that there are 22 men in that picture above. 22 men to take care of one groundhog? And why does an immortal groundhog need anyone to take care of him?

Wait, you hadn't heard that "immortal" part of the story, either?

Well, according to groundhog.org (the official site for the cult, er um, I mean, the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club), the same "Phil" has been making weather predictions (prognostications, if you prefer) for over 120 years.

How in the world could he live for over 120 years, you ask? (Especially if you know that few groundhogs live for more than one decade.) Well, let's go back to groundhog.org for a response:

"Punxsutawney Phil gets his longevity from drinking the 'elixir of life,' a secret recipe. Phil takes one sip every summer at the Groundhog Picnic and it magically gives him seven more years of life."

C'mon, drinking "the elixir of life"? You can't tell me that doesn't have "cult" written all over it...

And I find it especially odd that each sip gives him seven more years of life. If that's true, then why does he drink it every summer? After 120 years, shouldn't he have about 720 extra years already stored away?

Now if all of this were true, I think there'd be some people crashing that Groundhog Picnic party...and rightfully so. Because if they have a secret recipe that can keep one groundhog alive for 120 years, and they're not willing to share it with anyone else... but then again, perhaps that explains why this true story isn't widely known.

Oh, but wait, it gets weirder. Forget the whole see-his-shadow-and-go-back-in-the-hole rigmarole. Oh no, Phil doesn't have to do that anymore. Once again quoting groundhog.org:

"After Phil emerges from his burrow on February 2, he speaks to the Groundhog Club president in "Groundhogese"(a language only understood by the current president of the Inner Circle). His proclamation is then translated for the world."

Only understood by the current president? So what, does the previous president un-learn the language when his term ends? If so, who teaches it to the new president? Upon his oath of office, is this understanding magically bequeathed to him by the Groundhog Gods?

However this special language is learned, it's clear that this whole practice is uber cult-like. I mean, every cult has a leader, right? And what self-respecting cult doesn't have a secret language?

Of course, the Inner Circle also claims that Punxsutawney Phil's predictions have been accurate every single year...never mind that wikipedia says "according to StormFax Weather Almanac, his accuracy is just 39%."

So now we can add delusions of grandeur to the equation, which, combined with their uniform dress code, elitism, secret language, the presence of a clear leader, and their special life-extending drink, equals cult, cult, cult, cult, cult.

It's highly probable that this group is actually just using the groundhogs for animal sacrifices. Doubt me? Just look at the guy's eyes in this last picture? And then look at the terrified groundhog? (I never thought I'd say this, but where is PETA when you need 'em?)

Even before I knew about the Inner Circle, Groundhog Day always interested me for one reason. You see, I've never been able to decide whether or not I think the whole tradition is just plain stupid. And that's weird, because I'm usually very good at deciding that things are stupid. But on this, I vacillate. Sure the procedure makes no sense; that much is clear. And I do think Groundhog Day definitely is the most depressing holiday (since it seems we're always reminded that winter is still here...). But if the tradition ceased to exist, I suppose I'd miss it.

Yeah, stupid or not, I'd miss it.

So maybe we owe a debt of gratitude to those handlebar-moustached men of the Inner Circle, those dedicated souls who keep the tradition (and the one and only Punxsutawney Phil) alive year after year. Maybe their hard work and unwavering commitment make all of our lives a little richer, in a way that is nearly unnoticeable yet altogether significant...

Or...maybe I'm just saying that because I fear what that cult will do to me...

Either way, Groundhog Day and Punxsutawney Phil live on. And I'll just leave it at that.


—Thanks for Reading